Ice Storm

It was like I’d been dropped into a dark nightmare. My nose was frozen from the ice cold wind. Strands of my long brown hair waved in the freezing air from my fur hood. My toes were toasty inside my thick knee high boots. My hands were nestled in my gloves as I held onto the icy metal railing. A group of us had been taken captive and thrown onto a ship in the middle of a frozen black sea.
The ship was massive, short in length, but very tall. There were levels and levels of small steel platforms and most were frozen from the freezing waves. Some compartments had walls blown out and holes everywhere, I’m guessing from cannons or bombs. The ship still held like concrete and rumored as unsinkable. The people who held us captive wore black masks and thick black coats. We never saw their faces. They had us locked in a one of the lower compartments that reeked of raw steel and dead fish. The two guards left when the storm turned ugly. That was when I freed us from the cell. It was easy to slip by unnoticed when it was pitch black, but was hard to maneuver around the platforms when the waves were so violent. We had been standing, holding onto the railings of the platform hundreds of feet up from the ocean surface, waiting for the moon to free us from the wet darkness. Many eyes were on me waiting for my signal to move forward. My goal was to reach the top platform. It was extremely high and dangerous but the higher we went the safer we would be.
A young boy looked at me with eyes full of fear. I gave a warm smile,

“Be strong. We’re almost there.”

He smiled slightly and nodded once. We were close to the top, but the higher we got the more frozen the platforms were. Fortunately our boots came equipped with metal studs on the bottom of our soles, but it didn’t prevent us from still slipping. I had ordered everyone to hold onto the railing at all times because of the ice as well as the violent rocking of the ship.
The full moon had escaped from the clouds and coated the earth’s surface in blue light. Suddenly two ships were illuminated out of the darkness and one was closing in fast. It was going to broadside us!

“Everybody, hold on!!” I shouted to the group who clung to the railings.

The ocean air was instantly filled with the loud scratching of metal grinding into each other. Tremors rippled up the metal ship and suddenly we were jerked forward. Screams echoed throughout the group and I saw the young boy had lost his grip.

“NO!!” I screamed as I held on with one hand and swung out to grab the boy.

My hand wrapped around his wrist and we dangled from the rocking ship. His eyes were wide but joyful to see that I had come to his rescue.

“I got you!! Do NOT let go!!” I yelled as he wrapped his fingers around my wrist.

“OKAY!!” He yelled back.

Ice cold waves shot up like an exploding volcano, soaking through our hooded coats. The rocking subsided as the other ship kept on sailing forward into the night. The platform suddenly lurched lower with a loud ice cracking noise. I looked up to see the group had clustered to the edge, looking down at us.

“SPREAD OUT DAMN IT!! The platform will collapse!! SPREAD OUT!!” I yelled.

I felt the platform level out as they dispersed back around the edges. My strength was running out, I had to act. I breathed heavily as I lifted the boy up to my back, timing it with the huge sways of the ship.

“Hold onto my neck and wrap your legs around my waist! Do it NOW!”

Instantly I felt his other arm wrap around my neck and shoulders as he let go of my hand. I felt relieved that I could hold on with both hands.

“Why aren’t they helping?” The boy asked in my ear.

“The platform is unstable. Clumping to one edge would make the platform collapse. It’s alright though, I’m not afraid. Just hold on okay?”

“But not even one? Not one person will help?”

I began to swing back and forth with the moving ship, each time getting closer to swinging my leg up to the platform.

“Almost there! Hold on tight!” I yelled above the loud crashing waves.

The boy helped by shifting his weight so we swung easier. At last, I kicked up and hooked my heel around a railing and hoisted both of us onto the platform. I slid onto my stomach breathing hard as the boy slid off and clung to the nearest rail. I could hear cheers from the group. To them I guess I was a hero, but I wondered as the boy did. One person could have helped. Were they really too scared to assist someone other then themselves?
I caught my breath and sat up to see where the other ships had gone.

“That one is coming back!” A woman yelled from the group.

She pointed out to the ship that was heading straight for us. These ships didn’t have sails, but somehow they still sailed with ease. I was sure they were something dark and unnatural. I stared at the oncoming ship, we had minutes before it would hit. I pushed off from the rail and slid on my knees to the ladder that led to the next platform.

“Come on! We don’t have much time! Let’s go!!” I yelled as I climbed up the ladder.

The boy I saved was right behind me. I could hear some in the group complain and others scream too scared to move. This was the final platform. They could follow me or stay to live or die, but for me I knew this was it.
I reached the top and slid on my knees to a rail, others followed behind. I looked around for the other ship, not the one that hit us, there was another. The third ship had higher platforms, less holes, and the metal was a lighter color. It was at least three times larger then the ship we clung to. There was a cracking noise in the distance. Like an ice burg was splitting. But there were no ice burgs in sight. I looked harder at the massive ship and could not believe my eyes.

“What is that? What’s happening!?” the boy yelled.

We all watched in horror and astonishment as the massive ship became still among the violent waves. It didn’t move with the water; it was like a frozen island. We were silent, all was silent except the cracking ice and the crashing waves. I stared at the pale blue ice that held the massive ship in place and then I suddenly knew. That was where we’d be safe, that was where we needed to go; where I needed to go. They could follow if they wanted, but it was my time.
Water turned to ice on my cheeks as the wind seared my face. My hood blew off and my long brown hair caught the wind. I climbed up to my feet, standing and holding onto the rail.

“What are you doing? Are you crazy?!” A girl yelled at me.

“That ship is where we’ll be safe. You can stay or follow, it’s your choice!” I yelled.

I looked at her and then to the other ship that was going to hit us straight on in a matter of seconds.

“AH! It’s going to hit!!” One yelled. Screams echoed throughout the ship.

Adrenaline hit my heart and ran through my veins. There was an opening in the railings; the ship tilted the platform so I was higher then the opening. I let go of the rail and slid forward toward the edge of the platform. I realized my studded boots gave me no traction what-so-ever on this thick of ice; which was perfect. The icy wind felt good on my rosy cheeks. My feet caught the edge and I pushed off into the night.

I spread my arms and let the wind catch me. It felt like invisible sails were attached to my arms as I soared with the strong ocean breeze. I leaned to my right, dodging the ship by a few feet. I heard distant screams from the group as the ships crashed into each other. I saw the boy and a couple others jump and began to fly like me. They were smart to follow. The metal ships grinded together and scrapped its sides as explosions went off on the lower platforms. I flew higher wanting to reach the frozen ship. I saw the rest of the group jump in turns as tiny black figures in the night. I looked up to the main platform of the frozen ship. I could see people waving to me and smiling. They were good! They were here to save us! I flew over the rail and landed on my feet with ease.

I was suddenly bombarded by a cheering group of people hugging me all at once. I received many pats on the back and huge smiles by people wearing the same hooded coats as me and my group. They must have been survivors as well. One by one my group had flown and landed safely and greeted with cheers of joy. Somehow I knew deep in my gut that this was a ship of freedom. The ship glittered like a pearl in the moonlight, was big enough to conquer our enemies, endure the massive ocean storms, and take us safely home. The young boy I saved found me in the midst of the large group. He ran to me smiling, I fell to my knees and met him with a hug. We laughed together, knowing we were free.


(this story came from a dream I had)

The Funeral

I sat there under the cloth awning in the warm summer air and listened to the song my mom personally requested to be sung at her funeral. This was her funeral. My eyes had gone numb from all the tears. I could still feel the knife, daggers, swords that had been ripped through me. My soul just laid still within me as it bled. I had lost the one person I loved the most. I never realized just how much I loved her until she was gone. I stared at her portrait that sat on top of her velvet coffin. The birds chirped, the butterflies flew, and the sun was still warm; but it felt as though the world was dying or should have been. In my little world, it was. In some ways I mourned the death of the little girl inside me. My happy self, the part that knew what it meant to smile and love; the part that was always shining in her presence; that little girl had died away with my mom. I could feel the anger toward God begin to fuel deep within my broken heart.

The song was sung by my cousin. She sang beautifully. The lyrics were perfect; my mom must have known they would be. I looked down the row of chairs at my five older siblings. I could see the pain in there faces; the pain that followed down to the very core of who they were. Would our lives change now? This tragedy had already begun to make changes in mine. I felt as though my siblings saw and heard me for the first time. When before I would always go unheard and now when I spoke, one of them responded. It was my mom who responded to me before. She was the one who heard me best. I had lost her but I had also gained more of a connection with my family, even though the time we would spend together would be reduced. I suddenly realized exactly how much I loved them all and even more now. It was our mother that died, not just mine. She was the glue that kept us together. She was the glowing sun that shined onto all that she loved.

My Christmas’s would not be the same. My siblings had families of their own except for me. I was nineteen. I was utterly alone. I was disconnected. I was lost. I felt dead but yet my eyes were still open. I squeezed the wet tissues in my angry fists. I didn’t want to accept the fact that I was extremely angry at God. He took my dad when I was only fourteen and now he had taken my mother.

It would be two years and three months until I would finally let go. Let her go and finally find the little girl that once lived inside me. I am now the free, passionate, loving girl that my mom taught me to be. I let go of the anger I held against God and finally accepted him and his love; that he actually does love me. Even though there may be pain, there may be death, but there is also love. And every moment is a new one. The purpose of life is to learn and to simply live. I am thankful for the time I had with my parents; the time I had to learn from them. I learned that life is how you make it to be. That life is about love and inspiration.

Through being a free, passionate, forgiving, divine woman of light, my purpose is to inspire love, truth, and authenticity. Creating a world that is peaceful, worthy, and brave. And so it is. And so I AM.